Little White Lies
by ReidsKitty
Summary: Derek leaving the team breaks Penelope's heart in more ways than one leaving her mourning the lost of her friend. It also leaves her with something that doesn't just go away after time.
1. Chapter 1

Penelope shouldn't feel this sad but she does. She gets it really she does, Derek has a family now he can't afford to be in the line of fire anymore. She gets it but it doesn't stop her from drowning her sorrows in alcohol. Grabbing a bottle of wine, she is about to pour a glass when she hears a knock on her door.

Opening it she is shocked to find the former agent at her door, with alcohol. "Are you just going to stand their or let me in baby girl?"

Something tells her this is a bad idea but her best friend is standing at her door and who knows when they'd be able to hang out again. He has a baby now and she has work. It doesn't hurt that he brought alcohol, she is so down with getting drunk.

So against her better judgement she lets him in. They talk and dance and get really really drunk. Its passed midnight and their both wasted when she feels his lips on hers.

The logical part of him knows he has a wide and newborn son. He loves Savannah just not how he loves Penelope. It doesn't help that he's drunk.

She's shocked and knows whats happening is wrong but shes too drunk to stop him. When the kisses become less innocent she knows she should draw the line. She likes Savannah she really does. Penelope just happens to like the feeling of Derek's lips on her more. For the first time she allows herself to be selfish.

He doesn't write her a note when he leaves and she doesn't care. He moves on with his life, she goes back to work. Shes extra sad and everyone just assumes its because him leaving hits her the hardest- they were close after all.

Derek goes back home to his wife and son but the feeling of Penelope in his arms never leaves his mind.

* * *

When Penelope takes the test shes at home and shes drunken about five gallons of water to pee on ten different test. They all come back positive and she cries for a good hour. She debates about calling someone from the team but their still grieving over losing him. She debates about calling him but doesn't want to be a home wrecker. In the end she decides its not _their_ baby but _her_ baby and they'd be fine. She doesn't call him and has no intention of telling him ever. Penelope goes to bed with tear stained eyes. A part of her knows what shes doing wrong but she can't, won't make him chose between his wife and herself. She's not that selfish.

Hotch calls them in for a case five hours later and for the first time in forever shes late. She's not dressed exotically and shes sporting no make-up. He decides shes not alright but assumes she just need time to get over Derek leaving. He doesn't know how far off base he is.


	2. Chapter 2

When Emily comes to visit after the case she expected to find Garcia in his office, what she didn't expect was her odd behavior. She didn't need to be a profiler to see something was off with the usually bubbly tech analyst.

She offers her tequila but she declines, Emily knows something is up then and Penelope knows she has been made. Emily doesn't know that tequila is the cause of her problems. They mask it with jokes and laughter but Prentiss knows something is not right. When the woman in question excuses herself to the restroom, she follows her.

"PG?" her curiosity is sprung when she hears vomiting. After a few minutes Penelope exits with tears running down her face and her hand resting lightly on her stomach.

"I'm pregnant Em." She doesn't have to wonder who the father is, the tears speak for themselves.

They walk out the restroom arms wrapped around each other and if the team notices Penelope's wet eyes they don't question her about it.

When Emily gets back to London she calls Garcia, "He has a right to know Pen, it's his baby to."

"Me and my baby will be fine." Penelope stresses and Emily seriously debates about calling Derek herself buts she is pretty sure Garcia would clean out her bank account is she did that.

Emily knows what she's doing is wrong but she's worried about her and she knows she can't be there for Penelope all the way in London. She decides against calling someone from the team, she's nor stupid. Blake lives to far away, so that leaves Callen, No Callahan. While Emily had never met the women she heard a lot about her through JJ and Penelope. So she pulls a few favors to get her number and if Emily feels guilty she doesn't let it show.

* * *

Kate was a little nervous upon answering her phone, she never met Emily but she had heard all about her. Her nerves turn to concern when she hears why she's calling and in 30 minutes she makes her way over to Penelope's. She doesn't open the door but Kate come prepared to pick the lock.

Neither one says why she's here; Penelope knows Emily was bound to call someone. Kate doesn't say anything but instead wipes her tears away and holds her close. She doesn't call Morgan either.

And maybe they're all wrong for keeping him in the dark but what he doesn't know can't hurt him.


	3. Chapter 3

Penelope spends her first month pregnant scurrying off to the restroom and assuring everyone she is fine. In this time she has taken to leaning on Kate and Emily, neither brings up Derek.

She is at the end beginning of her second month when the team finds out.

It isn't a busy day and everyone is doing paperwork, well is supposed to be doing paperwork. Garcia is sitting on top of JJ's desk listening to Reid ramble about who knows what when it happens. She begins to feel dizzy but shakes it off, thinking she just needs more water, her body slumps forward stopping Reid mid-sentence.

"Garcia?"

"Penelope?"

But the only response they get is a loud thud. The noise alerts Hotch from his seat in his office.

In the waiting room they debate about calling Derek, but are stopped when the doctor come out.

* * *

"Family of Penelope Garcia." Everyone stands up, it isn't unnoticed that Morgan use to stand by them as family.

"She is anemic, she as a bruise on her head but the fetus is ok." At the word fetus the team stares at each other with surprised faces.

"Did you know she was pregnant?" Reid asks rhetorically, he can only think of one reason she wouldn't tell them. Needless to say they don't ask who the father is and they don't call Morgan.

When they go into see her it is filled with awkward tension, she knows they know and the thought nearly brings her to tears.

"Do you want us to call anyone?" JJ asks breaking the silence, Garcia knows what she really means is do you want to call _him_.

She tells her to call Kate and as an afterthought Emily, because she may be in London but that wouldn't stop her from worrying.

No one is surprised she confided in those two, they are surprised she didn't tell them.


	4. Chapter 4

Morgan sees the team less as the days go on but he still makes time to talk to them. He is a little confused why Penelope won't see him. She tells him work has been hectic and he believes her not missing his old work hours.

Garcia still sends gifts to her godchild,its not his fault shes in this mess. She ignores the fact she is carrying Hank's brother or sister.

She wonders if her baby will look like him,like Derek.

* * *

Upon entering her fifth month the team votes for who she should stay with, afraid she might break if she is left alone. Honestly she is afraid she'll break too. She ends up staying with Hotch; she'd go with Kate or JJ but they have husbands, staying with Rossi would be weird, Emily is too far way and Spencer is still freaked out by pregnant women, so Aaron it is. It's awkward at first but they settle in to a routine and Jack is more than happy to have his Aunt Pen around.

* * *

Penelope runs into Savannah at the grocery store neither mentions Derek or the fact she is clearly very pregnant. Instead Derek's wife smiles at her.

"Congrats."

Penelope smiles awkwardly, shifting her feet. "Thank you." The two women awkwardly converse until Garcia gets a call, she's never been more grateful.

That night she allows herself to feel guilty for the first time. Derek was, is her best friend and she's lying to him. The tears fall freely as Garcia reassures herself she is doing the right thing. This wasn't his, their baby. It is _Hers_.

Savannah doesn't tell her husband Penelope's pregnant. She's not a profiler but she knows their is more to that story. She goes to bed and tries to ignore the fact he slept with her.

* * *

Emily flies in for a baby shower, hosted by Kate and JJ. The guys show up because none of them have ever done anything traditional.

"Why didn't you find out the gender? I was stuck buying generic things." JJ complains. Penelope shrugs and says she wants it to be a surprise. Really she just doesn't want to find out if she is having a boy because that would hurt to much, and if its a girl it would hurt just as much. Derek would love a little Princess.

She quickly blocks out those thoughts, the day was about her and her baby, not about him.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: SO Morgan will find out just not anytime soon, but I promise he will before the end of the story.**

* * *

Living with Hotch is different then what she imagined. He smiles more around Jack and is surprisingly a good cook. Aaron becomes like an older brother to Penelope, sure she already has four brothers but they aren't in touch. Jack adores Garcia's presence as much as she loves his. The team helps her set up a nursery is Hotch's house, he refuses to let her live on her own. She can't help but think someone is missing as she watches her BAU family, but the feeling doesn't last long enough for her to pick up the phone and call doesn't think she's ready for that, ready to be rejected. Plus he already has an infant child, he doesn't need another one. He doesn't need her.

She has alcohol-free girl time with Kate and JJ. Sometimes she thinks Savannah could of joined them once upon a time,you know if she had't of slept with her husband.

* * *

She's sitting on the couch watching _Monsters Inc_ with Jack when her water breaks and Aaron may or may not have broken a couple of doze of traffic laws to get to the hospital. Five hours later she is looking at her daughter. She grows sad when she remembers Morgan's last day at the BAU.

 _"Is it bad i'm happy it wasn't a girl?"_ Penelope finds she doesn't mind so much that its a girl now, since its her girl. She hears a knock on the door and yells come in.

"Are you up for visitors?" Hotch asks and when she nods yes he opens the door to revel the rest of the team plus Kate. Hotch kisses her head, they've become close, not lovers close or Derek close but close and shes thankful for his support.

The baby is darker than Penelope put lighter then Morgan, with curly brown hair. Her eyes are an exact replication of his and Garcia doesn't know if that's a blessing or a curse.

"What's her name?" JJ asks.

Penelope names her Gamila, which she learned from Emily was the Arabic word for beautiful. She names Kate and Hotch godparents and Rossi honorary grandfather, since she wouldn't get to meet her real one. The teams spends a long time dotting over the baby, claiming she's the first girl to be born.

The moment is bittersweet, she knows Derek should be here. That he'd want to be here but she's not sure if she wants him here anymore. She doesn't give her his last name but Morgan ends up being her middle name, but no one comments on that.

* * *

 **A/N: So i speak Arabic and Gamila is beautiful for a girl in Arabic and its Gamel for a guy but it translate to handsome in that case. Gamila is pronounced GA-ME-LA.**


	6. Chapter 6

Penelope doesn't move out of Hotch's house, somehow see actually manged to move in with him more. If that's even a thing. She comes to see him as Aaron, loving father and loyal friend instead of Hotch the fearless leader. They become some weird dysfunctional family unit. They are not together, just two single parents raising kids together and it works for them; she helps him remember Haley, he helps her forget Derek.

She talks to Morgan less as the days go on. He's busy raising his son, she's busy raising his daughter. Now that she isn't pregnant she goes and visits her godson. Savannah doesn't ask about the baby and Penelope tries not to think about the fact she is playing with her daughter's half brother.

When Derek asks if shes taught about having kids she lies, she already has one but she can't find her voice to tell him.

A year later Morgan invites everyone over for Hank's first birthday, Rossi agrees to not go in favor of watching Gamila instead, because Garcia hasn't found the strength to tell him yet. Yeah its been a year but things have been going great why mess that up? So see spends the evening with Hank ignoring the feeling of her heartbreaking. Morgan notices the looks share between his old team, he may not be a profiler anymore but he knows somethings up, but when he hears the laughter of his son he forgets about the odd glances and Penelope's glassy eyes.

Nine months later its Derek who is missing from the party and the hole in her chest becomes heavier. Emily flies out from England to celebrate.

* * *

After Aaron, Spencer is the closest to her and Gamila. Both being affected the most by him leaving. Reid clings to the little girl like she is the last piece of him they have and lately its felt that way.

* * *

A few months later Gamila gets sick and she rushes the barely one year old to the ER and just her luck Savannah ends up being her daughter's doctor. The sight of Derek's wife makes her nauseated.

"Its okay 'Mila." Penelope says to the infant who want stop screaming.

Savannah pauses in her tracks when she sees Penelope. Though she knew the child existed she's never seen her, she didn't even know it was a girl until a few minutes. ago. She smiles and goes into doctor mode. Neither mentions Gamila has his eyes. It turns out she has to have her appendix removed and Penelope panics at the thought of her one year old daughter going through surgery. The team and Kate come to the hospital as soon as they here the news, and she doesn't let go of her baby until the take her to the OR.

Savannah doesn't tell her husband she ran into her old co-workers. She figures that wouldn't end well. She tries to block out the image of the little girl who couldn't be much younger than Hank. Its her turn to become nauseous.

* * *

 **A/N: thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing. I didn't expect such a huge response. I love writing but I never thought anyone would read anything I ever wrote. The next chapter should be up Friday or Saturday.**


	7. Chapter 7

Spencer was watching Gamila while Penelope took care of things and the baby was more then content to crawl around the familiar space that was Reid's apartment. The doorbell rings startling the baby who had began walking towards Reid, stumbling forward small tears build up around her eyes prompting Spencer to pick her up as he heads to answer the door.

"Garcia I gave you a key." but the person at the door isn't Penelope. He mentally curses as he looks up, Spencer had forgot Derek said he was stopping by when he agreed to babysit.

"Hey kid." Morgan begins before he notices the baby whose head is on Spencer's shoulder facing away from him. "Whose baby?" and it takes everything in Reid not to say yours.

"Weid." the infant says looking at him. Opening the door wider and letting Derek in, he looks at Gamila and then at Derek.

"I'm babysitting." was Spencer's short answer. "Weid." she says trying to get his attention again.

"Weid." she says this time pulling on his hair. He shots an apologetic look at Derek before attending to the little girl. Derek's old profiling skills start kicking in he concluded that they were close but since when did Reid baby sit.

"So pretty boy are you going to introduce me to your friend?"

Gulping Spencer shuffles his feet before answering setting off alarm bells in Derek's head, "This is Gamila, Mila for short." Morgan notices how Spencer didn't mention they baby's parents.

The two men sit down on Reid'd couch and Derek gets a good look at the baby and looking back at him is his own eyes, shocked he realizes the child's mother could only be one person. "Spencer..."

Spencer knows he's screwed. He should of know when he opened the door, their was a reason Morgan was such a good profiler. "Please don't be mad at her." the her in question just happens to walk in Spencer's house using the spare key.

"Spencer." she says happily until she sees his guest. "Derek..." her smile drops and her heart begins beating faster.

"Mama." Gamila says leaning forward in Spencer's arms. "Jay" she says seeing JJ behind Penelope.

"Maybe I should go." Spencer says. "Me too." JJ adds in but Penelope's glare stops her from moving. The tense in the room undeniable. "It's your apartment Reid" Morgan says painfully aware he is the last person to know he has a daughter.

The room grows quiet, the adults staring at each other long and hard. "Why?" he asks Penelope but she doesn't answer. "Why?" he says again this time louder and directed at JJ and Reid. When know one answers him he decides he doesn't want to know at the moment and leaves angrily slamming the door behind him, leaving Garcia in tears.

"That went well." Spencer says awkwardly causing JJ to glare at the genius.

* * *

When Derek gets home the first thing he does is hold his son close, then Savannah walks in. "Hey.."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she stops moving shocked at his question but knowing exactly what he is talking about. She cautiously moves towards her husband. "It wasn't my secret to tell." she says sounding hurt.

Derek looks up at her apologetically but otherwise doesn't say a word.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a month since that fateful day and things were still tense. Penelope, deciding to take the highroad, had tried everything in her power to contact Derek so they could talk like adults. When Penelope says she tried everything she honestly did, she called, texted, emailed, old fashion mailed and even hacked into his computer system to try and get his attention but Morgan would,t budge.

She knows she doesn't deserve it, but she isn't the only guilty party, after all he walked away the morning after. Garcia thought he'd at least want to get to know his daughter, even f he didn't want to talk to her. She thought wrong apparently. The only emotion anyone seems to have around her these days is concern.

She doesn't plan on moving out of Hotch's house and he doesn't plan on letting her. Penelope is like the kid sister he never had, so he's less then pleased with Morgan's attitude. Yea she didn't tell him, no one did for that matter, but she's trying now and he, he's just running away.

* * *

The next time she sees Morgan is less then pleasant. She knows infants sleep a lot but Gamila has been sleeping more than usual, so when her daughter starts vomiting she knows something is wrong. Savannah isn't her doctor this time but she thinks Penelope deserves to her the news from someone she knows. So painfully she tells Garcia, she couldn't imagine if it were Hank.

"She needs a liver transplant. ASAP." Savannah reluctantly tells Penelope and as it turns out Garcia won't be able to donate part of her liver, she is not her daughter's blood type. Which prompts Savannah to call Derek because she knows Penelope won't do it.

"I'm not having my son tested to see if he can save _your_ daughter." he doesn't know why but he can't think of the little girl as his yet.

"I didn't ask you to. I asked you to get tested not your son." she says the words spilling from her mouth sounding harsher than intended but her daughter is dying while she is arguing with her ex best friend.

"Please." Derek can't help but think she sounds like a small child. He takes the time to look at his old team, who is struggling as much as Penelope and he realizes that Gamila is the responsible for fixing the damage he caused but the bitter part of him is still not convinced.

"Remember when Hank was born?" Savannah asks her husband joining the conversation. "He was premature. What if one of his organs was failing." So he gets tested and ends up not so surprisingly being able to donate.

* * *

The surgery goes well. He silently enters the hospital room to see Penelope asleep. So he walks over to the crib were the child is sleeping. As of sensing he is watching her Gamila opens her eyes and stares at the stranger looking at her, when he hears a throat clearing.

Its Spencer. "Thank you." he whispers and Derek doesn't know why he's thanking him, its not his kid. _No but she is yours_ a voice in the back of his head tells him but he decides to ignore it.

"She's beautiful isn't she?" Spencer says to Morgan lightly touching Gamila's left arm. The only limb without a IV line or monitors. In response she latches her tiny fingers onto Reid's, Morgan watches the interaction his eyes never straying from hers. "Penelope really was going to tell you, you had a daughter. She was scared you'd hate her." and after a beat starts talking again. "She didn't want to be a home wrecker." Morgan almost wants to laugh.

"You could of told me. Hell anyone could of told me." Derek says his voice raising. Going to exit the room he turns around and looks Spencer in the eye, "She may be my daughter but she's not _my_ daughter."

Leaving the room he bumps into Savannah who had heard the whole thing. "You didn't mean that did you?" he can't look his wife in the eyes.

"I have Hank and you. That's all I need.

* * *

Spencer only removes his eyes from the place Morgan was standing when he hears Penelope's cries. "I don't think he really meant that. He's just angry." He says walking over to were she sat. "He'll come around." he reassures Penelope but he's not quite sure himself.

Morgan makes plans to move that night, he changes his phone number and email address. He can't be here right now. Savannah understands but tells Derek leaving isn't going to fix anything. "Maybe I don't want to fix anything." he says stubbornly.

"Remember I'm just as affected by this mess as you are." she tells him but agrees to move but she feels bad for Penelope even after everything she still was is her friend.

* * *

Everyone is visiting them the next day when Penelope notices the tension. "Okay guys I may not be a profiler but I know something is up." Hotch balls his fist, Rossi scratches his head, Reid just stares at Penelope and Kate looks at her concerned, finally JJ decides to break the news, "Penelope sweetie, he's gone."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So i know Morgan was out of character last chapter but pain, wither it be physical, emotional or mental makes people act differently. Derek is hurting emotionally so I thought he'd act rash without thinking things through. I promise this chapter isn't as depressing.**

* * *

Morgan has been in Chicago for a month when he realizes something. Derek had time to cool off and realize he did want to be apart of his daughter's life- if Penelope still let him. His moment of clarity came when he realized all his friends(?) are closer to Gamila than he was. Having lost his own father early in life he realized he just couldn't do that to his own child purposely. Driving back down the interstate towards Virginia he sees Savannah smirking the the passenger seat.

* * *

Having been informed, a bit reluctantly from Reid, that Garcia had been living with Hotch he cautiously knocks on the door and is met with a fist. "I guess I deserved that." Morgan says wiping blood off his face. Aaron shrugs and then pulls Derek into a hug leaning down to his ear and whispering, "Don't screw up again."

Walking slowly towards where Penelope is sitting in the living room he observes the scene before him quietly. Jack is sitting on the floor with Gamila on his lap playing with building blocks. "Careful Jack, we don't want Mila to pull one of her stitches." Jack nods and continues playing with Gamila on the floor. Penelope'e eyes leave her daughters as she turns around and looks at Derek.

"Can we talk?" he asks.

And that is how Penelope ends up having the awkwardest lunch ever. Savannah and Kate are there acting as buffers. Penelope wishes Reid was here to ramble about statistics and facts but she doesn't want to involve him in this.

"How is she?" Savannah asks Penelope about Gamila.

"Good, she is a lot better after the transplant." she tries avoiding Derek's eyes. After her daughters well-being is established no one says anything, afraid of crossing a line. So instead they eat and glance at each other begging someone to say something.

Penelope decides to take one for the team and her sanity. "I loved you." she says her voice coming out clear and stable. It may have been an odd thing to say to a man with his wife present but Garcia is suddenly aware everyone knew this already. " I'm happy for you really but you broke heart me and if my life was a musical i'd be singing on my own for _Le Miz._ I thought when you left you were going to sue for custody like Callie and Arizona on _grey's anatomy."_ she rambles. Derek can't help it he starts laughing. In the moment she knows things may be far from right, their are still wounds, but they'll be okay.

"Can I meet her? Officially." She almost wants to say no but having her own parents die she's not going to let her child not know her father.

* * *

"This is weird." Kate whispers to Hotch and he can't help but agree. Kate had suggested having a family dinner with the team. "You know we all haven't been together in awhile." was her verbal argument, but really she thought the two of them needed the support, in case things went south someone could do damage control. That is how all of them ended up at Rossi's mansion and once again Morgan is made aware of the fact everyone knew before him, even Emily who isn't even in the states. Derek still doesn't know how he feels about that.

Reid is entertaining the kids with magic tricks when he hears Gamila giggle for the first time. Looking over he notice she is dressed like a miniature Garcia minus the glasses. "Silly weid." she says not quite mastering the sound of r but the smile that lights up on her face as she plays with her 'uncle' makes Derek smile longingly.

Noticing his glazed look Penelope goes over to her daughter motioning Morgan to follow. "Mama" the infant says reaching out for her.

"I want you to meet someone." she says as if the one year old understands whats really going on.

"Gamila this is Derek. Your dad." She looks from her mom to Derek then shyly waves her hand. "Say Hi Mila."

"ey." she says and Morgan begins to tear up. "No sad." Mila says firmly reaching out to hug him. She wraps her arms around him. "Okay?" looking up at her father.

"Okay." Derek says holding her close, he looks over at Penelope and they may still have problems but at least he gets to see his daughter but Penelope should have known that the happiness wouldn't stay long.

* * *

Derek knows his friendship with Penelope will be forever strained, she is still tense around him. The only things Penelope will even discuss with him is Gamila. He wants her to live with him half the time but Penelope won't budge.

"You left when you found out. For a month." she says angrily. "I'm not uprooting my daughter's life because you decide you want her now."

"Suing for custody sounds great right about now, i'd find a lawyer." Derek says and leaves angrily leaving Penelope with tears running down her face.


	10. Chapter 10

_Derek knows his friendship with Penelope will be forever strained; she is still tense around him. The only things Penelope will even discuss with him are Gamila. He wants her to live with him half the time but Penelope won't budge._

 _"You left when you found out. For a month." she says angrily. "I'm not uprooting my daughter's life because you decide you want her now."_

 _"Suing for custody sounds great right about now, I'd find a lawyer." Derek says and leaves angrily leaving Penelope with tears running down her face._

* * *

Penelope wakes up from her dream panicking. It had been a month since Derek met Gamila and Garcia was terrified that he would take her daughter away at any moment hence the nightmares. Things between them had have been icy, neither willing to acknowledge their mistakes. While the Derek she knew wouldn't sue her she wasn't quite sure what the Derek she knows now would do. Deciding she wasn't going to get sleep anytime soon she decides to occupy her time by knitting.

"Please tell me we have a case." Penelope asks Hotch who shakes his head.

"No." grumbling she prepares to meet her doom, not really but she promised Derek if they didn't catch a case on Saturday she'd bring Gamila over for a play date with Hank. A promise she is regretting after her dreams the past few nights.

* * *

"Kate! Why'd you let me agree to this?" she whisper yells into her phone as she slowly walks up to Morgan's door. All she hears on the other side of the phone is laughter which promotes her to hang up on her friend.

Penelope watches Hank play with his little sister in Derek's living room; she watches as Morgan kneels down to play with them.

"Coffee?" Savannah asks startling Garcia out of her daydream. Nodding her head Penelope takes the cup from the other woman. For a while neither one of them says anything, they just watch the children play.

"Look Savannah I'm sorry." Penelope mumbles and Savannah doesn't have to asks what she's sorry about.

The woman doesn't say anything but she wraps her arms around Penelope in a gesture Penelope takes to mean she's forgiven.

* * *

Spencer is getting coffee when he notices Penelope's odd behavior. Instead of her bubbly personality the usually greets the team she is sitting quietly, staring at her coffee, her clothes equally as gloomy.

"Penelope?" Looking up Spencer notices she has rings around her eyes indicating she hasn't got much sleep.

"Nightmares?" he asks, being the first person she told, usually that spot would be held by Morgan but that wasn't happening any time soon.

"Garcia look, I don't think he'd take her away from you, come one we know Derek. He wouldn't do that."

"We knew him. I don't think I know him anymore." She responds sadly letting her fear get the best of her.


	11. Chapter 11

Soon after Reid's and Garcia's heart to heart, Hotch informs them of a new case.

"In the past week three women have been found dead in their homes in Florida." Penelope says swaying the remote and grimacing at the pictures being projected.

"Talk about the happiest place in the world." Rossi grumbles.

"I know it gets worse, their was malware found on their electronics. Phones, tablets, printers, computers, etc, if it got wifi it was on their.

"Meaning?" Reid asks not sure where she was going, computers really aren't his thing.

"Meaning that they were being stalked before they were killed."

Hotch's frowns deepens before he speaks, "Wheels up in thirty and Garcia, I need you with us on this one." Finally looking up from his files he notices her conflicted look. "Is that a problem?"

"No Sir, well yes, it usually wouldn't be but Gamila's nanny is sick, I'd ask Kate but she's out of town and I don't have anyone to watch her over night." The room becomes silent everyone thinking the same thought but no one voices it, after Reid coughs for the second time, JJ decides to speak up.

"You could ask _him_." At that she shakes her head violently not bothering to asks her who the him in question is. After debating with herself she lets out a harsh fine and leaves the room to call Morgan.

* * *

Derek would be lying if he said he wasn't shocked by Garcia calling him. Things between them were civil at best for their daughter but he had never had her over night before.

"Sissy?" Hank asks from the back seat asking about Mila. "Yeah we're going to get your sister."

The BAU looks just the same as the day he left it all behind exiting the elevator he sees, Reid entertaining Gamila with a card trick while Penelope shifts through a bag. Turning around suddenly she hands the bag to Morgan.

"Everything she should need is in here and I've left a detailed list of her nighttime routine." she says moving her hands around wildly. Spencer hands her the baby and she squeezes her tight before handing her to Morgan glaring at him slightly.

"Relax Penelope I know how to handle a child." he says moving his head towards Hank in a motion she takes to mean 'I've got this.'

* * *

He learns new things about his daughter on the first night. Like how she's just as enticing as Penelope, even at the age of one, she doesn't like bath time or peas and she doesn't mind sharing her toys with her half-brother.

Laying her in the crib next to Hank he notices when his son expands his right hand and wraps it around Gamila's left one holding pinkies. He smiles at the sight and for the first time realizes that Gamila's face looks like a browner version of Penelope. Sitting down in the rocking chair he watches his kids sleep. He takes a picture of them sleeping peaceful which leads him to looking at old pictures; Pictures with the whole team, past and present, Silly pictures with Reid, pictures with Emily, Rossi, JJ, Alex and Kate. Hotch is never smiling in the pictures , but Derek can see the emotions in his eyes, most of all he sees pictures of Penelope and he realizes one of two things. How much he misses her and the team. And then he wonders where everything went wrong.


	12. Chapter 12

Things went well the first two nights, Penelope would call before Gamila went to bed but tonight it was an hour past Gamila's bed time and she hadn't called. Derek figures the case got hectic. Hank is asleep and Savannah is working the night shift making the house quiet, other than the infants soft babbling. Toddling over to her dad Gamila pushes a teddy bear in his face. "Mommy?" Derek looks from her to the bear that he'd recognize anywhere. He had given it to Penelope one year for he birthday, Morgan had mad it at build a bear to look like Garcia. He guesses this is why she gave it to Mila.

"Mommy will be back soon." The infant doesn't like the answer she receives and glares at Morgan, he eyes watering up. He then realizes this is probably the longest she has been away from her. Picking Gamia up he cradles her and shows her a old picture of the team.

"Weid, mommy, jayje, 'ossi, 'otch, Em." she says pointing at each member, Derek wonders how she knows Emily and is slightly jealous of the fact his daughter seems to know her better than him.

"You spend a lot of time with them, don't you baby girl?" he says causing Gamila to look at him much in the way that Garcia did when he first called her that. Derek chuckles because it is a mirror image of Penelope. Another hour past and Penelope still hasn't called, he suddenly realizes Gamila won't go to sleep without hearing her voice.

"ssh don't cry baby girl." Gamila looks up at him strangely, not sure if she likes the nickname or not but it at least stops her tears.

"How about I read you a story."

"encer?" she says confusing read with Reid. Derek shakes his head a points at a book. Gamila then slides out of his lap a walks over to her bag and pulls out a book, shoving it in his face.

"Hamlot?" Derek reads the title of the book and rolls his eyes, assuming its a gift from Spencer. He than opens the book where the book marks at and starts reading it to her, it seems to calm her down, so he continues until she falls asleep.

"Go figure. I really need to talk to Reid about what he reads with my child." he says out loud for no reason.

* * *

The next morning he wakes up to find Kate in his living room, talking to his wife.

"Kate, hey." he says going over to hug her. "What are you doing here?"

"I just got back from out of town and Penelope texted me late last night and asked me to come see Gamila for her." Morgan nods his head, watching as she picks up the book he had read last night. "She likes Shakespeare. We blame Spencer for that."

Derek laughs. "I figured."

Savannah leaves the room. When she comes back Hank and Gamila are trailing behind her. As soon as Gamila sees Kate she runs towards her.

" ate." the little girls face lights up and recognition. "Up." she says lifting her hands. Once Kate has her in her arms, Mila starts playing with her hair"

"Mommy?" she asks. "She'll be back soon." Kate replies kissing her cheek. "I should go." she says putting her down.

"Its good to see you again Morgan."

* * *

Its two days later when the team comes back, Penelope doesn't bother with just heads straight to Morgan's house, after calling him. Pulling up in his drive way she barely has to knock before the door is being opened.

"Hey."

"Hi" the exchange awkward greetings before Penelope comes in and sees Gamila in Savannah's arms. As soon as the infant sees her mom she reaches for her Garcia happily taking her into her arms.

"Thank you for watching her." she says towards Morgan but her eyes never leave her daughter's form.

"No problem." Derek replies rubbing the back of his next.

"Say bye Mila."

"Bye bye Annah, Hank, Dada." she says waving. Derek is in too much shock to move, she had only called him daddy a few times and never in front of anyone. The stupid grin on his face was there for the rest of the day.


	13. Chapter 13

It became a tradition to get for Garcia and Hotch to get dinner together when not on a case, for people who lived with each other they actually didn't see one another as much as one would think, but that was the job.

Penelope looks up after attempting to get Gamila to eat her peas to notice Hotch's stare.

"Hotch, I can feel you profiling me." Aaron sighs and Penelope knows she is not going to like where the conversation is going.

"How are things between you and Morgan?" Narrowing her eyes at him she hadn't expected him to bring Derek up. Ever.

Her silence is apparently the answer he was looking for, hating to upset her but knowing someone had to get it out of Penelope. "Garcia. Penelope. I only ask because before Haley." he pauses to catch his breath and she suspects its to hold back the tears.

"Before she died our relationship was toxic and it was bad for Jack."

"Don't pull the dead Ex-wife card on me." the tech analyst huffs.

"I care for both you and Derek." At his name Gamila looks over at Hotch.

"Da?" Aaron smiles briefly at the infant before turning his focus back on Garcia.

"I don't want you two to end up with regrets." the like me goes unsaid.

"Hey!" Jack yells, who had previously been actively ignoring the adults, "She threw her pees at me."

Gamila smiles sweetly at Jack and her mother. And just like that the tenson in the room goes away. "Say sorry to Jack, sweetie."

" 'ory 'ack."

"Ugh she needs a bath, how did she get pees in her hair?"

"Can I help?" Jack pipes up.

"Sure" has Penelope gets the infant out of the highchair Hotch sends her a pointed look that she returns with an eye roll. She knows what he wants, what he thinks she should do. What she should of done years ago but that wasn't going to happen.

* * *

"Garcia, do you know how little sleep I get between Insomnia and cases?"

"Sorry Spencer I just." she sniffles trying to hold back tears.

Reid sits up fully awake now. "Penelope whats wrong are you and Gamila ok?" he says panicking.

"Yeah. Yeah. I just need your advice."


	14. Chapter 14

Watching her daughter sleep, Penelope runs her hand through Gamila's curls thinking about what Spencer had said. Garcia knows how hard it was for Reid to grow up without a father and she doesn't want that for her daughter but on the other hand she doesn't want to get hurt again. Derek was here now but what was stopping him from leaving again.

"Ma?" Gamila says sleepily as she reaches out for Penelope. Garcia doesn't know what she was going to do but she knows as long as she has her daughter she'd be alright.

The next week comes with a long case and all Penelope wants to do is to go home and cuddle with her daughter but Rossi has other plans; a family dinner.

So reluctantly she drags herself out as the night goes on she actually starts to have fun forgetting her problems that was until she spots Derek and Savannah in the club their at. Her heart beats rapidly as her eternal debates come rushing back. She feels guilty because Savannah is so nice, and doesn't deserve this but tonight she finds it hard to smile.

* * *

Spencer is the first one to notice which is why Saturday morning he is offering to go to the park with Penelope and Gamila. At Garcia's questioningly look he says he just wants to spend more time with his 'niece' but they both know he has an ulterior motive.

Penelope is sitting on the bench watching her play with uncle 'enpce.

"Penny?" she looks up hearing the all too familiar voice of Kevin.

"Kevin! Who what a shock to see you here." She really doesn't have the time or energy to entertain her ex but Lynch obviously isn't picking up on her do not disturb vibe.

"I'm just enjoying the sunny weather. What about you?" before she has time to respond Spencer is walking towards her with a teary eyed Gamila.

"She fell, don't worry she's not her but its time of a nap." The fact that her friend knows her daughters sleep schedule really does prove it takes a village to raise a child.

"Mommy." Gamila cries,

"Aw did mommy's princess get a boo boo." Mila shakes her head and reaches for her. After passing Penelope her daughter Reid finally looks up to see the confused face of Kevin.

"Hey, Kevin." Spencer says waving awkwardly at him.

"You have a kid." Kevin points out the obvious a bit harshly.

"Yes I have a kid, like millions of other women." Garcia snaps not in the mode to deal with his judgment.

Something seems to click in Kevin's mind as his face softens. "She has his eyes."

"Mama." Penelope looks down at her daughter and then back at Kevin. "I have to go Spencer is right it's time for her nap.

* * *

Derek comes home after grocery shopping, yes the former BAU agent goes to the shopping market. Opening the door he comes into his house.

"Baby boy!"

"Mom, Desiree, Sarah. What are you guys doing here?"

"You act like we can't come visit you." Sarah says.

"You just wanted to see your grandson." He says to his mom who his holding Hank.

Savannah made a come here gesture to Morgan and they walked off down the hall.

"Do they know?" Savannah asks bluntly and he doesn't need to ask what she is going on about, the guilt already settling in.

" They don't."

* * *

 **a/n: So when I started this it was going to be hotch/garcia but then I was like naw Morgans the baby daddy so Morgan/Garcia but now I'n no so sure so what do you guys think? Hotch or Morgan.**


	15. Chapter 15

Penelope just wanted to go home but she had run out of diapers. Luckily Gamila was an easy baby and didn't seem to mind the pit stop to the store.

"Penelope?"

"Sarah! I didn't know you were in town." Because if she did there was no way Penelope would have left the house; but here she was standing nervously in front of Derek's sister.

"Yeah, Desiree, mom and I decided to come visit Derek, and Hank." Penelope's mouth makes an O shape and she could mentally slap herself. Of course Fran would be here.

Not liking being ignored Gamila decided to make herself known. Kicking her feet in the buggy and clapping her hands loudly.

"Ma. Ma." At the sound of her daughter's voice she freezes.

"Well who do we have here?"

"This is my daughter. Mila say hi."

"Hi." She says smiling sweetly at Sarah and it is a mirror image of Derek, in the moment Penelope knows she knows.

"She's precious." Taking a few minutes' to look over at the baby who is now happily babbling, Sarah raises her eyebrows looking between mother, daughter and a mental image of Derek.

"Thank you." Penelope turns to leave when Sarah begins to speak.

"You guys should come to dinner. I'm sure Fran would love to see you." The pure panic shows on Penelope's face as she shakes her head no mumbling about not wanting to intrude.

Sarah may not be a profiler but she knows when people are acting off.

* * *

After Penelope gets Gamila settled down for her nap she falls apart; first Kevin and then Derek's sister all in one day. She is suddenly glad Hotch took Jack to see the new Captain America movie; she doesn't think she could handle seeing either of them right now. Garcia wants to vent but can't decide who shed her tears to, so she sits quietly on the ground staring blankly into space.

* * *

It was harder than Sarah thought to get her brother alone, in the end she decides on asking him to take a walk with her.

"Whats up, Sarah?" he asks her concerned.

"I don't know shouldn't you be telling me." At her younger brothers confused face she continues speaking. "I ran into Penelope today. She was with her daughter."

Derek says and runs his hand over his head. "You can't tell mom or Desiree."

"Why not?"

"Sarah I'm serious. Me and Penelope aren't exactly on speaking terms."

"What did you do?" she fires at him.

"Why did I have to do something?" he says rolling his eyes. "Seriously you can't tell them." He says walking towards his house.

"Can't tell who what?" Desiree says poking her head out the door. "Nothing." Derek growls as he brushes past her.

* * *

Hearing the doorbell ring Penelope shakes off her pity party to go answer it and is shocked to see Sarah on the other side.

"How'd you get my address?"

"You're not the only one who knows how to find people, Penelope." Garcia shrugs and lets her in still dazed at what is happening.

"Look Penelope, I'm not judging you but she's my family too and I'd like to me her. Please." Penelope is not sure what she was expecting but it wasn't thins.

She shows Sarah to Gamila's room where the infant is standing in her crib with her arms up. Noticing her mom she stares widely at the other women in the room.

"Mila this is your Aunt Sarah." She says as she picks her up and hands her to Sarah. Calling someone other than JJ, Emily, and Kate aunt is foreign on her tongue. A little voice in her head is telling her if she told him how she felt she could of avoided this but there is a louder one that's always told the first one to shut up.

Gamila looks up a Sarah curiously tugging on her curls gurgling incoherently. "She has his eyes." Sarah says in awe.

"Yeah, when she does something she's not supposed to she smirks, and there is no denying he is her father." Penelope's comment sets the girls of into laughter.

Suddenly Sarah reaches over and grabs Garcia's hand, "Thank you."

"For?"

"Letting me see her. I know you and Derek aren't on the best of terms."

"No problem it's what family does and I guess we're sort of family now?"

"Penelope you've always been family."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry this took so long my immune system hates me and none of my blood counts will go up. I have a bunch of chronic illnesses and I was having a good patch for awhile but it seems as if things are going back down hill.**

 **Anyways you guys totally didn't help with the decision so we are going to vote again, kind of, here are the list of possibilities;**

 **1\. She ends up with Derek**

 **2\. She ends up with Hotch**

 **3\. Two people brought up Spencer and I had it as a small thought, but now I'm considering it.**

 **4\. On NCIS their is an agent (Tony) has a daughter and the mother (Ziva) is supposedly dead. You won't have to watch NCIS to understand his character I just thought that would be a cute** **scenario.**

 **5\. None of the above**

 **please let me know your thoughts and thanks for reading!**


	16. Chapter 16

She knew it would happen eventually, but eventually came far to soon for Penelope. Mama Morgan was still in town so all her energy was focused on not running into her- or any of the Morgans for that matter. Her mind being occupied by this she totally forgot about the new agent, Derek's replacement.

Penelope decides Luke is handsome and kind. Loyal like a puppy, no matter how hard she gives off don't talk to me vibes he keeps coming back. She's trying to be civil; its just that its Morgans replacement and she doesn't find it in her to be the nice and bubbly Garcia the BAU is used to.

* * *

Kate drops of baby Garcia, to the open arms of Penelope at the BAU since she had to stay late. Its the first time Luke has seen Penelope truly smile.

"Thanks Kate"

"No problem. Bye munchkin." Mila waves back. Sighing to herself Penelope realizes that she and Hotch have a meeting with the section chief.

"Spencer!" she yells happily. "You're still here."

"Yea i'm doing paperwork."

"Good here is Gamila i'll be back." she says in a rush passing the baby and her stuff to Reid, then running off to the elevator to meet Hotch. "But I have paperwork." he says upon death ears.

Luke is the only other person left in the bullpen. Rossi is in his office, JJ and Tara leaving hours early. Spencer is so wrapped up in the little girl he doesn't notice Luke until he clears his throat.

"She has a daughter?" Spencer stumbles over his words and fidgets slightly before looking Luke in the eye. "Yea, her name is Gamila." Luke could be imagining it but he swears the infant is glaring at him.

He observes that the infant is content in Reid's arms, Spencer as equally content. Something he wouldn't have suspected, the doctor didn't seem like the baby type. 30 minutes later Penelope comes back and the conversation that follows confuses him to no end.

"Thanks, Reid. It was Morgan's weekend with her but things came up." Spencer knows said thing is Derek's mom and smiles sadly at his friend."Well we got to go Hotch is waiting, I don't think i've driven to or from work since moving in with him."

"Bye 'encer." Mila says cutely.

* * *

When the elevator door closes Luke leaves all pretenses that he was doing paperwork and looks at the doctor. "Just ask." Spencer says sounding more harsh than he intended to but its Penelope and he looks after his own.

"She lives with Hotch?" Is his first question, really he couldn't care less about that but he thought he'd test his waters. The genius may look skinny but he wasn't about to figure out if he could hit or not.

"Yea. Is that it?"Spencer starts to shuffle awkwardly, knowing where the line of questioning is going.

"The guy who worked here before me his name was Morgan right? They were close?"

"We were all close." he says blinking to stop the tears.

"But they were"

"None of your business.' Reid cuts him of before he can finish saying his thoughts out loud. "Penelope and Derek are none of your business." Luke puts his hands up in the universal surrender sign.

"I didn't know this was a sore topic."

"You won't talk to her about this, you won't mention him." With that Spencer goes back to his paperwork and Luke is left just as in the dark.

* * *

 **a/n: So I live in Fayetteville, NC and its flooding pretty bad. Just down the road from my house this dudes lake flooded and we legit can't go anywhere. Schools canceled, my high school is on a college campus and half of the campus is underwater. Everything s closed and most roads are blocked and they're expecting more rain. Sigh. I'm lucky my light haven't gone out but no one in Cumberland county can use their water without boiling it first and we have a water shortage too.**


	17. Chapter 17

Holding her daughter close she walks up the familiar path to Derek's house. She hates doing this but she has no other choice.

"Penelople?" he asks confused opening the door slightly.

"My mother is still here…"

"I know, Hotch needs us to come in for a few minutes."

"It's the day before thanksgiving Garcia."

"I'm aware of that." she snaps. "You don't think I don't want to be home with my daughter. It's only for a few hours."

"I'd love to but."

"But what Derek? You used to work this job, you know how it is. And you don't get to decided when and where she's your daughter."

"Derek?" a voice says coming closer, "who's at the door?" Penelope pales she didn't think this through.

"You know what never mind." She says turning to walk away but Derek hand stops her.

"Penelope?"

"Fran. Hi" yeah she really didn't think this through.

"It's good to see you and who is this?" before she can answer Derek bets her to it. "Her daughter I volunteered to watch her for a few hours." He rushes out, not bothering to look a Penelope who he knows s mad.

"Ma could you give us a minute." Fran looks at her son and asks Penelope if she can hold the child who wines at first to being in the hands of a stranger.

"I can't believe you." Penelope snaps again when his mom leaves. "You're not going to tell her that's her grandchild."

"Penelope not now."

"Don't Penelope me. You wanted to be in her life fix this." Waving her arms in the direction Fran went she looks at Derek again before heading to her car. "I'll be back soon."

* * *

Walking back in his house Derek rushes to find Sarah. He reluctantly explains earlier events to his sister.

"Let me get this straight, you're watching your daughter who you've failed to mention to mom or Desiree?"

"Yes." He says slowly, "Look I know I screwed up and I'll fix it just not now."

"She's such a sweet baby." He's mother says later cooing at the infant in her arms.

"Yeah Penelope is a great mother." He says softly. Looking between his son who is in one of his sisters' arms and his daughter.

Savannah walks into the house finding everyone in the living room. "Hey. Penelope told me we're watching Mila."

The infant in question reaches out for her recognizing only her Derek and her brother.

"Its so said the father isn't in the picture." Mama Morgan says in an of hand comment causing Savannah to looking pointedly at her husband.

"He's an idiot" Sarah says smartly. Derek glares at his sister and harshly warns her to stop.

"Why should I?"

"Sarah, please."

"Ok am I missing something." Desiree questions noticing the tension in the room. "Just drop it des."

"I'd like to know too." His mother states.

He's saved by the bell, quite literally as Penelope rang the doorbell. "Did you fix this." Walking into the house in search of her daughter see waves at Savannah.

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean not exactly?" at that moment Gamila decides to speak for the first time that evening.

"Da Da." In Morgan's direction and there's no mistaking who she's talking to and then all hell breaks lose.


	18. Chapter 18

**A\N: sorry this took so long being chronically ill sucks and its senior year. I was also told by one of my doctors that i'll be in physical therapy for the rest of my life if i don't want to be in my wheelchair again. Which sucks because it hurts a lot. On Tuesdays I have Physical therapy a gym like area and Thursdays is aquatic therapy. Anyways once again i'm sorry about the long waiting period.**

* * *

It feels like years since someone has spoken logically Penelope knows that it has only been seconds since her daughter uttered those words. She is mildly aware of Gamila still babbling Dada in the background.

Suddenly the noise seems to come back to her. Its utter chaos, everyone's yelling trying to talk over each other, trying to figure out what's going on. That's when Penelope begins to cry.

"Garcia? Penelope?"

"You said you'd fix this!" her face is red from the tears and anger. Taking a deep breath she composes herself and looks at Derek's mom.

Calmly she begins to speak. "Derek's her father, I'm sorry I thought he told."

"Penelope."

"Morgan drop it. I just want to go home now." reluctantly he lets her go as soon as he closes the door he's met with his mother's disappointed face. His sisters and Savannah clear the room leaving him standing awkwardly with the women who raised him.

"Ma."

"Don't ma me. Did Savannah know?"

"Yea. Look ma I know you're mad at me." There is a long pause when no one speaks, Derek gets up to walk away when she begins to talk again.

"I'm not mad, disappointed, mad never." Fran takes Derek's hands into her own. "You don't run off and hide from your family. You hear me? When you have a problem you come home."

Derek leans into his mother and begins to cry. "I don't know what to do ma." The tears continue to flow. "I've messed up."

* * *

Penelope's a mess at work. Hotch has tried talking to her, Spencer and JJ tried they even called Kate who still wasn't much help but Aaron had another trick up his sleeve. Emily. He had already thought about expanding the team and Prentiss had mentioned coming back state side. He hoped that she could cheer up Garcia.

Emily finds Penelope sitting in what used to be Morgan's office. She takes a while to observe her friend before making herself known. She looks tied and sad a contrast from the bright and bubbly person Prentiss is used to seeing.

"knock knock"

Looking up suddenly Penelope's eyes go big at the sight of her friend.

"What? How ?" Penelope stutters wrapping her arms around Prentiss's body. "I thought you were in London.

"Yea well my family needed me."

"How long will you be here?" Emily pauses pretending to think.

"How about indefinitely." Penelope's laughter can be heard down the hall way from where Hotch standing. He lets out a rare smile.

* * *

It is one of those rare times where a case is open and closed. After hearing Penelope laugh for the first time in forever Aaron is determined to keep the smile on her face.

So here he is Special Agent Aaron Hotchner of the BAU at Chucky Cheese watching his technical analyst chase after their children. No not their hers and his.

Hotch wonders if this is what his life would have been like if Haley was still alive. He can almost her he voice in his head telling him to _take a break_.

He smiles seeing Jack hold Gamila's hand as they walk back to the table Penelope behind them.

Gamila shoves her stuffed animal in his face. "look"

"what do you have their Mila."

"unicorn. 'ack won."

"Really now?" the infant nods her head as she sits comfortably on his lap. Jack sits on the other side of the table next to Penelope and for the first time in a while Hotch thinks he's satisfied with life.

* * *

 **A/N: their are three references to Broadway musicals two are from the same play and the other is from another. I wonder if anyone will notice?"**


	19. Chapter 19

**a/n: first chapter of the new year! This was suppose to come out last week but I got distracted**.

* * *

Another week, another new case, as Penelope heads to tell the team where they're going her phone buzzes. She ignores it knowing its Morgan.

"Okay lovelies, teenage girls were found dead approximately two weeks apart."

Her fun then begins to ring in the middle of her statement.

"Sorry as I was saying both were teen mothers and."

Buzz. "They were found dead in" buzz."

"You should answer that Garcia." Rossi says, his eyes never leaving the case file.

"What Derek? I'm working right now. No you can't see her." She pauses when she realizes the team is trying to discreetly watch her.

"Funny you should mention she's your daughter that's not what you were saying earlier." She can see the confused faces of everyone but Hotch, at the moment she didn't care.

"Look I have a job to do." softer she says, "but she's with Kate if you're really serious about seeing her." Penelope can almost feel the breath he's been holding onto. Composing herself she turns around to face the team.

Alvez begins to speak but a sharp look from Spencer shuts him up. After a few more uncomfortable seconds Hotch clears his throat. "Ok wheels up in thirty, Penelope a word?"

"Since when does Hotch call her Penelope?" Emily wonders out loud once they're out of sight, JJ just giggles.

* * *

Kate gets to the door before he gets the chance to knock. "Hey Kate."

"Look she's sleeping right now and Penelope doesn't like her schedule disturbed."

"Right I'll just go." Rolling her eyes slightly she calls out for him.

"You really want to see your kid? "She questions him. "Then you can seat and keep me company until she wakes up."

He really doesn't want to sit alone with Kate but he really does want to see his kid.

Awkward is the only way Derek Morgan can describe what's happening. He's a full grown man he really shouldn't be squirming under Kate's glare. Its obvious Penelope told her what went down and by the way things are going she's not amused, At all.

"Kate."

"Derek."

"Look I"

"Shut up Morgan."

"Excuse me?"

"Congratulations, you've invented a new kind of stupid."

"Look I didn't come here so you could judge me."

"No you came here to see the daughter you won't claim." Her words are blunt and sharp, angry on Garcia's behalf. She walks out the room returning with a half asleep Gamila in her arms.

"You have an hour. Then get out of my house." Taking his daughter from her he sits down on Kate's couch cradling the little girl who seems oblivious to the tension in the room.

* * *

The case is long and hard. They manage to save the fifth women but unfortunately four other young women are dead leaving behind even younger children.

Penelope finds Luke in her cave, having spent absolutely no time with him she is quite confused by his present.

"What are you doing in here?" he walks over by one of her computers and picks up a picture.

"I finally figured it out."

"What?" her confusion on the subject dissolves when she sees the picture of her daughter and another one of Derek he is holding.

"Your baby daddy also known as SSA Derek Morgan."

"and?" her hearts racing she just wants to go home to her daughter and forget Morgan but Luke keeps pushing."

"I replaced him you to were close."

She snorts at his last statement. "Yea obviously how do you think she got here?" she says pointing to a picture of her daughter, sitting down in her chair she starts to cry startling Luke.

Spencer who just happens to be walking by hears and rushes in. "What did you do?" he says almost yelling at him. A tone he usually reserves for unsubs.

"I don't know" he says alarmed.

"She's having a panic attack." Looking around frantically Reid sees the picture of Derek in his hands. "I told you to drop It." he growls out.

"look man I didn't know."

Spencer promptly ignores him and opts to call for help noticing the now hysteric Garcia.

"JJ? Emily? Hotch? Rossi?" no one answers at first. "Really anyone would be great right about now." he continues shouting.

Luke on the other hand makes himself busy by calling 911. "I need an ambulance, my coworker is having a panic attack.

JJ and Emily followed by Rossi and Hotch come rushing in.

"I'll go wait for the paramedics." Luke says upon death ears.

"What happened?" Hotch cries out pushing his way to the front. Spencer shrugs and Emily has never felt so helpless.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: First I want to apologize for how long its taken me to update this. My red blood count and vitamin D dropped extremely low. On a 20- to something chart my iron was at a 12. And my vitamin D was similar, my body doesn't seem to want to absorb any minerals so i've been feeling pretty terrible. So i've finally felt well enough to finish writing this chapter, I hope you guys enjoy.

* * *

Spencer thinks it's funny how fast things can go downhill. He's the closest thing they have to a medical doctor yet all he can do is stand idly watching his friend in distress as he waits for the paramedics.

He's broken out of his trance by the sight of a stretcher and three paramedics. "What happened?" one of them asks.

He wishes he knew. "I think she's having a panic attack." The paramedic looks at Penelope and promptly disagrees. A panic attack was the least of her problems.

The Emergency room is stuffed with BAU members, if the nurses are nervous around the agents they don't show it. No one will tell them anything apparently Derek is still her emergency contact. It took some begging but they managed to not have him called.

Spencer sees Kate first and takes Gamila from her. She's totally unaware of the happening around her. Reid listens to her quietly babble. It brings a small smile to his face.

"What's happening?" Kate asks.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes JJ stands up and hugs the former agent before looking at Hotch, then Gamila and back at Kate.

"They won't tell us anything."

"Why not."

"We're not Morgan." Rossi adds in sassily.

"She never had her forms changed." JJ says softly

"Mama?" a little voice says and when no one says anything the infant begins to become hysteric sensing something.

Catching a nurse by the arm Emily pulls her aside, "Can't you tell us something."

"Unless your name is Derek Morgan than no I'm sorry."

"Well he obviously isn't here and we don't want him to be."

"Is he abusing her?" the nurse asks cautiously.

"What no? It's complicated." Despite recent events Emily knows Morgan, and the statement is appalling.

"Well this isn't."

Thirty minutes go by before Hotch speaks up. "I think we should call him." His face is stoic but his voice is raspy.

His statement is met with various looks of disapproval. Alvez who had been standing awkwardly in the corner decides to make his presence known.

"Look I don't know what the big deal is but I do know you guys care about her." Hotch's face softens slightly.

Reid pulls the short straw and has to make the call.

* * *

It's late and Morgan doesn't know who could be calling him at this time of night. Sleepily shifting over he tries to move slowly, avoiding waking Savannah up. Reaching blindly for his still ringing phone Derek knocks over the baby monitor causing Savannah to shift in her.

"Reid?" he says questioningly. He used to be so close to the team but now the man he considered a brother sounds like a stranger in his ears.

He can barely make out what the younger man is saying. Spencer sounds tired Derek notes and he can't help but wonder if he'd just gotten back from a case.

When he slows down all Morgan hears is _Penelope_ and _Hospital._ Sitting upright on his bed Derek puts his head in his hands.

"Derek, who was that?"

"Spencer. He said Garcia's in the hospital."

"Did he say why?" he shrugs, the fact that she seems more concerned about a women she very well should hate, than he does doesn't escape Morgan's notice.

"No they won't tell them anything, until I get there."

Wrapping her arms around his bigger frame she whispers in his ear. "Then you should go." Letting go of him she lays back down wondering when this became her life.

Derek looks at Hotch first, not because he was his former boss, but because he sees his daughter tucked in Aarons arms fast asleep. The sight rubs him the wrong why and he wants nothing more than to punch the wall.

Hotch catches Derek's eyes and the men stare each other down. Luke notices the tension and points.

"Is that Morgan?" everyone's attention moves towards the two men and Rossi clears his throat. Derek is still scolding Hotch but both men's face light up when Gamila makes a cooing sound in her sleep.

"Family of Penelope Garcia." A nurse calls out and everyone who is still sitting stands.

"I can only tell information to Derek Morgan." She says looking down at her charts.

Derek breaks his staring match with Hotch when someone slightly pushes him. "I'm him." He says in a daze.

"Come with me."

"Anything you can say to me you can say to them, they're family."

"As you may know she had a panic attack but it was accompanied by takotodubo cardiomyopathy."

At the teams confused looks Spencer begins to speak. "Also referred to as stress-induced cardiomyopathy or more commonly broken heart syndrome. Did you know that…"

"Agent Reid is correct." The nurse responses flustered.

"It's actually Dr. Reid."

"Right. as your friend been under large amount of stress? Death in the family, divorce?" The teams eyes move unconsciously towards Derek bringing the tension break.

"We work a stressful job." Hotch eventually says his face as stoic as ever. Derek knows he wasn't covering for him, he was just grateful the heated glances of the team were gone.

"Well the good news is she will be fine." The nurse continues ignoring the tension. "She had short-term heart muscle failure but recovery is quick and it's not likely to happen again."

Its quiet for a moment as everyone takes in the news. Clearing her throat the nurse begins speaking, "She's asleep right now. I don't know what's causing the stress but may I suggest her seeing a consular?"

Slowly the tension in the air eases. "I'll let you know when she's awake."

It takes everything in Hotch not to go off on Morgan instead he focus all his energy on the little girl in his arms. He can feel Derek's eyes on him, ticking him off even more. The BAU leader is thankful that Jack was spending the weekend at a friend's house. He'd tell him later but for now there was no need to worry is son, who had become quite attached to the bubbly technical analyst.

* * *

The waiting room becomes quiet as the nurse leaves the room, no one knows what to do or say. Luke decides to break the ice.

"Hi, Morgan right?" he says walking up to the former BAU agent. "I have heard so much about you." It's an obvious lie but Derek lets it slide, opting to take his replacements hand.

Luke keeps talking but it is hard for Morgan to focus on anything but the subtle glares he's getting from the rest of the team and Kate. What he wasn't prepared for was Spencer's refusal to look him in the eyes. Looking around he realizes the people he once considered home are strangers.

Clearing his throat he shuffles awkwardly, "Emily, hey, I didn't know you were back."

"Well if you'd bother to talk to us you'd know!" the angry response doesn't come from Emily or even Kate. It comes from Spencer whose face is now red and shaking from anger.

"Kid…"

"Don't call me that, you have no right. You left us, you left her." He's almost shouting now and though he is pointing at Gamila when he says her, but Derek knows he is talking about Penelope to.

And ever so quietly he utters, "You left me."

"Spencer." Emily says calmly. "This isn't the time or place."

"Why not?" The young agent says. "It's not like we will see or hear from him again." His voice breaking.

"Spencer." This time it's Rossi.

"You don't get to walk in and pretend everything's fine, because it's not. Penelope loved you and you used her and then you left your own daughter."

"Spence." But JJs voice goes unheard.

"How could you do that to them? You just left and everyone tries to be there for her but we can't fix what you broke."

"Spencer." Hotch says sternly but the flood gates are opened now.

"Don't Spencer me, you're just as mad as I am, but won't say anything because you are content playing house with Garcia."

The room grows quiet again before anyone dares to say anything.

"Hotch I'm." Reid starts but is cut off by Aaron's hand being held up to silence him.

Instead of speak he walks over to JJ handing the infant in his hands to her. Then he continues towards Derek.

The two men, both clearly alpha males, stare at each other not knowing what to say.

They both go to speak but before either can say a word the nurse comes back informing them that Penelope had weaken up.


	21. Chapter 21

Hotch breaks his staring contest with Morgan to turn to focus on the flustered nurse.

"Please limit one person at a time, she needs her rest." The nurse says "Her room is the last one to the right."

The first thing Penelope realizes when she wakes up is that everything looks blurry. She reaches her hand over blindly to find her glasses. When she cannot feel them she looks over. The second thing that goes through her head is that this isn't her room. It suddenly hits her that she is not home, this is not room. Thoughts suddenly go through the head and she remembers the event leading up to correct condition.

Spencer stands awkwardly at the door, holding her glasses in his right hand.

"You probably need these."

"Reid?"

He walks in the room and gives her the glasses. The fuzziness in her eyes goes away and Garcia can now focus in on things. She notices that Spencer looks tried and wonders when he last slept.

"The others are waiting outside, we were all scared." She nods but it's not the information she wants, needs to know.

"Gamila?"

"Is fine." It's quiet for a while.

"Remember that time I got shot." Garcia whispers. Spencer tries not to winch; it's an event the whole team would rather. Penelope is their technical analyst; she's not supposed to get shot at.

"This is ten times worse, my chest hurts."

"Do you want me to get a nurse?"

"No, I just want things to go back to how they were." She's crying now and Spencer doesn't know how to deal with crying women.

Penelope gets so worked up that her monitors start going off and Spencer is soon pushed out the room by a nurse. He's never felt so helpless and just wants his friend to get.

The team sees him come out the room and Kate yells, "I'm next."

Spencer shakes his head at her. "What happened?" She asks, but he just looks at the floor.

"Spence." JJ says softly.

"Her monitors went off. They're checking her again. The silence that fills the room is suffocating and the silence had never felt so loud.

"We should all go home and get some rest they'll call when she's stable." Rossi says being the voice of reason.

Everyone mumbles their agreements and heads out leaving Hotch, Morgan and Rossi standing in the waiting room.

"I think I'll stay." Hotch says sternly.

"Me too." Morgan joins in, causing Rossi to roll his eyes.

"You guys can have a pissing contest later; you both have children at home." Reluctantly both men make their exit.

* * *

"How is she?" Savannah asks when Derek comes stumbling in the door its late or really Savannah's not sure anymore, he just shrugs. She sighs nervously twisting her wedding ring.

"Derek."

"I I messed up, she was my best friend."

"Derek, this wasn't your fault." She goes to wrap her arms around his waist but je just shrugs her off.

"I did her wrong." Then taking her hands in his and he looking her in the eyes, "I did you wrong."

"What are you saying?"

"I've made a mess of things, and I don't deserve you."

He's crying and Savannah can only count one time she's seen him cry.

"Hey, I chose to stay with you and you decided to stay, we'll be okay."

Her words sound comforting but Derek is not so sure. He wonders when his world starting falling apart, no he knows when. The exact moment when he's world came crashing down, it was when he decided to push Penelope out his life.

* * *

Hotch sighs as he hears Gamila's cries through the baby monitor calling out fir her mother. It's the fifth time she's woken up this hour. He walks in the room and heads towards her.

"Daddy." He's shocked for a moment and then realizes she's probably calling for Derek but then she mumbles daddy again and reaches her tiny hands out to him. He doesn't have time to process this because she's calling for him again tears running down her face.

"Daddy." She mumbles into his chest.

"Dad?" He turns around to see Jack standing at the door. "Is she ok?"

"Yeah she just misses Penelope, why don't you go back to bed I'll be there in a moment." After calming down the infant he walks to his son's room.

It looks as if Jack is asleep so he just stands their watching him." He turns around to leave when he hears Jack mumbled voice.

"Is Penelope dying?"

"why would you think that."

"Because last time you looked this sad mom died."

Holding his eyes shut he tries to push out the images of a dying Hayley that are slowing transitioning into a dying Penelope.

He slowly swallows his own feelings, noticing the tears forming in Jack's eyes.

"Hey, buddy, Penelope's not going anywhere, ok?"

"Ok, because I like her here."

"Me to buddy, me to." Its silent for a while before Jack speaks up again.

"Dad?, is she like my new mom." He must take longer than he realized to say something because before he can form a fluent sentence Jack's asleep again.

* * *

A/N: Sorry this took so long I got a new laptop and didn't have microsoft word for awhile . I also graduated last week. My school high school is really being embracing different cultures so they had students do greetings in different languages. I got to do the Arabic greeting and since i have mobility issues they let me sit on the stage so I wouldn't have to keep walking up and down the stairs.

oh and I learned i'll forever be in physical therapy because my core and back don't work like they should be. Anyways all this to say updates might take awhile in between chapters, but this story has not been abandoned.


	22. Chapter 22

"It's not funny, Dave!" but the older agent just laughs at his predicament. It had been two days since Gamila had called him dad. Jack seemed to think nothing of it and all Rossi could do was laugh further stressing Hotch. They hadn't been back to see Garcia after the incident her doctor said Penelope was under too much stress to handle seeing any visitors. As much as he wanted to see her he is slightly thankful, not knowing how to handle the situation at hand.

Hanging up on Rossi he runs his hand through his hair. It's a rare day off, and so far a work emergency hasn't come up.

"Da?" a little voice says from the floor and he'd be lying if he said his heart didn't warm up at the sound of her voice; but soon reality sets back and a he realizes he's not her father.

"Daa." The infant says again unaware of the chaos she is causing. Rossi continues to laugh on the other end of the phone, making Aaron want to pull his hair out.

"Dave. It's not funny, I'm not her dad." Rossi's laughter dies down and there is an odd pause between the men.

"But you are, you and I both no blood doesn't make you family."

"Morgan's her father."

"No he's her sperm donor." Rossi suspected that Hotch had always had a soft spot for Penelope, He'd recently questioned him on his feelings but Aaron denied it claiming she was clearly in love with Derek and that he was her boss.

"You may not have contributed to making her, but that little girl loves you."

"Daaa." The little girl says again making Rossi chuckle on the other end of the phone, "see?"

She puts her arms up, indicating that she wants to be held, once she is in Hotch's arms she lays her head on his shoulder.

On the other end of the phone Rossi is still talking, "and besides if Garica keeps living at your house you'll be married by common law." Hotch decides to hang up on Rossi at that point.

He stands in his kitchen rocking the little girl when his phone lights up with JJ's name, he's praying it's not a case but knows that it's in vain.

* * *

Penelope's babysitter is sick and his former sister in law is currently out of town so he has no choice other than to bring the kids to the briefing with him.

It's odd for the other agents to see SSA Hotchner with a bright pink diaper bag on his shoulders and two kids trailing behind him, Gamila holding on to Jack's hand. He leaves Jack in his office, but Gamila refuses to let him out of her sight. He caves when she starts asking for Penelope, his tiny face reflecting her mothers.

Everyone fusses over her as he apologizes; explaining that Kate will be there soon to take the kids, but no one seems to mind. In Garica's noticeable absence JJ has stepped back into her own role.

As she talks about the cask Hotch wonders if Mila should be hearing all this but she seems to be content sitting in her arms, everything is going fine until she starts to cry, cutting JJ off mid-sentence.

"Daddy." The room gets quite as everyone looks at Hotch, they quickly come to the conclusion that he has heard her call him dad before because he doesn't look as shocked as everyone but Rossi.

He decides to ignore his agents and instead focus on calming his daughter. He doesn't know when but sometime in the past twenty four hours he had begun to call her that in his head.

He's saved from having to address the issue by the appearance of Kate.

"Wow, am I missing something?" she asks noticing the tension in the room.

"I think we all are." Spencer mumbles. A quick glare from Hotch stops anyone from saying anything. He then leaves the room with Kate to get Jack.

Gamila cries as Hotch hands her over to Kate and it breaks his heart a little, but he has a job to do; Though the rest of the room seems to be less concerned about the three dead women found in Florida.

* * *

"Wheels up in thirty." Is all he says before speed walking to his office, but JJ is fast and corners him in the hall.

"When did she start calling you dad?"

"It doesn't matter I'm not her dad." JJ stops and takes a good look at him. He's always been under a lot of stress but she can see where Penelope's absence is affecting him.

"You know that Garica is going to be alright?" He doesn't say anything but motions her into his office.

"It's okay to love them, Penelope's not Haley."

"I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing." His soft spoken confession shocks Jennifer but it doesn't stop her from speaking.

"Well, I think you're being as stupid as Morgan." She leaves but he doesn't get to brood in peace, it's not long before he notices Reid's presence.

"She right, you know?" the young genius says.

"I didn't grow up with a father, or even a father figure, Gamila is lucky to have you."

"Reid." He says warningly, he's had enough for one day.

"I'll see you on the plane." Is all the younger agent says before leaving Hotch to his thoughts.

* * *

 **A/N: I know common law is a little more complex than what I put but hey, this is fictional.**

 **Also i'm sorry this took so long, I haven't been feeling well and have had a lot going on with my health. Plus i'm leaving for college next week. Thank you for being so patient.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: I'm so sorry about how long this took, I've been having alot of health issue and between that, writer's block and college I hadn't felt the will to will probably only be about two more chapters.**

* * *

The first thing Garcia does when she wakes up is reach for her glasses. That's when she notices the white hospital walls. The second thing she does is panic, "oh God have I been shot again." When she comes to the conclusion that no she hadn't been shot again she begins to calm down.

The third thing she does is wonder where her daughter is. She doesn't have to wonder long as Kate comes into the room holding the infant unaware that her friend has woken up.

"Kate?" Startled Kate looks up from her phone.

"Penelope, hi! Look Gamila its mommy." Both mother and daughter reach for each other so Kate gently hands the baby to Penelope.

"I'm going to go get a nurse." Kate says leaving Penelope.

She gets discharged that afternoon. Hotch had failed in convincing her to let him fly back, so he could be home for her.

"Really its fine, you have a unsub to catch. Besides Jessica and Jack are coming to get me."

He sighs and is about to calm it's no problem when JJ tells him they've got a new lead.

"its fine, I'll see you when you get back from saving the day."

* * *

Penelope Garcia is bored. Jessica left hours ago and the kids watching whatever show is on. She dozing off when she hears the door open.

"dad." Jack says followed by a softer da. If Penelope is shocked she doesn't show it, either that or he's losing his touch. He had hoped to talk to Garcia or that Gamila would just eventually stop calling him dad. Although he realizes then the latter option was well never really an option for him. Call him selfish but he loved the little girl and the thought of losing her, even to her birth father wasn't something he liked to think about.

"Did she just?" Penelope questions him.

"She's been doing that for a couple of days. You know she hears jack saying it all the time and you know kids and everything." Aaron realizes he has begun to ramble and just stares at the women in front of him hoping she would say anything.

"Its fine" she then reaches over to grab his hand. "I don't know what we are doing or what we are but you love her." The unlike Morgan goes unsaid.

"But Morgan."

"Isn't here, but you are and I we, chose you." Slowly Penelope stands to her feet and kisses him lightly.

Hotch doesn't want the weekend to end. It had been the first time in a long time that it hadn't got interrupted by a case. He spent the weekend with his family and can't help but smile thinking about the blonde women next to him. He's sure they are breaking an FBI policy but he can't find it in him to care. Careful not to wake Penelope up, whose still on medical leave, he starts getting ready for the day.

* * *

"Aaron?" apparently not quite enough.

"Go back to sleep."

"But I want to go back to work, I miss the team and my office, please tell me my office is ok." Aaron scuffs, it's not like she doesn't text everyone and as for her office well he makes a note to fix that before she gets back.

"You're not going back until the doctor clears you."

"Right well I'd thought I'd try." Hotch smiles and he continues to smile all the way into the office. Which was probably his first mistake, he should have known that with a group of profilers for friends, the resent development wouldn't stay quiet for long.

It was like the full grown special agents didn't know how to do paper work quietly, apparently gossip was required.

Which is how he ended up getting the, I'll hurt if you hurt her talk, from everyone on the team, even Alvez whom they had only recently acquired.

* * *

She knows she probably shouldn't be here. For several reasons, one she just got out the hospital and two she isn't sure how this is going to go. Not well is what her brain, heart and gut are telling her but Penelope Garcia is optimistic.

She stands at the door awkwardly for a few minutes before ringing the doorbell, and is relieved when Savannah opens the door instead of her husband. She knows she's here to see him but she's not ready yet.

"Penelope, hey." The woman hugs her and Garcia tries not to tense but considering the situation she thinks she's allowed to.

"Is Derek here?" she needs to get this over with before she changes her mind.

She sees him before she gets her answer. Even as Savannah opens the door wider to let her in, Penelope doesn't move from her spot outside.

"Can we take a walk outside?" she whispers to him, hating how small her voice sounds. No one says anything for a while as they stand on the porch. Savannah had left to go check of Hank and now it was just the two of them.

"I need you to sign this." She says shoving papers into his hand. He looks at the papers and then back at her.

"I need you to release your legal rights to my daughter."

"What?"

"Aaron can't adopt her until you let go of your rights."

"So it's Aaron now." She huffs of course that's all he cares about.

"Yes I haven't asked him yet but it doesn't matter until you sign the papers."

"No."

"Excuse me, you haven't been there and he already loves her without the papers but I don't want you to have her is something ever happens to me."

Her words are sharp and Morgan knows what she is saying is true but he is blind by jealousy and rage; so no he would not be signing the papers.

"I'm not giving him my child."

She is angry and tired, so she screams at him, "Will you just sign the damn papers."


End file.
